So, what do you do?

I loathe this question. For now, let’s set aside the notion that a person is defined by his or her means of earning an income. Instead, consider the answer itself. Many people have one ready. For example, “I’m a teacher” or “I’m an electrician.” Nearly everyone has a point of reference for those jobs and immediately understands what a teacher or an electrician does 1. My answer confounds people.

“I work for AOL.”

“Oh? What do you do?”

“I’m an editor at a blog called ‘The Unofficial Apple Weblog.'”

A two-step process takes place. First, a glaze envelops their eyes, similar to the caramalized shell of a honey-baked Virginia ham. Next, their brain forms a question that gets filtered and re-worded before being handed off to their lips, like Joe Theismann placing the pigskin between John Riggins’ ripped forearms. Yet I hear that initial query in my mind:

What the fuck is that?

It’s that damn “weblog” that does me in. This person’s niece has a blog, and all she writes about is the hot waiter at Denny’s and Nyan Cats. How the hell does Dave make a living with that nonsense? Oh, his poor wife.

Earlier today, my Internet Buddy Chris Herbert pointed out 2 this article, in which Chuck Skoda uses the term “webcolumn” to describe his online writing. I like it, and I’ll try it out for a while.

You know. When I’m not ogling Denny’s wait staff.

  1. Or at least believes they understand.
  2. Via Ben Brooks.