Smart pajamas read to your kids at night

CNET on Smart PJs, “The world’s first and only interactive pajamas”:

“Smart PJs, called the world’s ‘first and only interactive pajamas,’ require downloading a free app for iOS or Android and scanning one of dozens of codes from the Smart PJs with a smartphone or tablet. The device then reads aloud a story, sings a lullaby, or broadcasts pictures of animals or other bedtime-appropriate cuteness.”

Horrible. Awful. Why read to your children when you can toss an iDevice at them? In fact, you don’t even have to pick out the story anymore. Jr’s PJs will do that for you! There’s more:

“‘Now your child will be excited to go to bed,’ says a promotional video for the product.”

Yeah, nothing helps a toddler fall asleep faster than excitement. Sign me up.

BGR reports “Apple is done”

Boy Genius Report posts on a story from Forbes which asks, “Is Apple’s iPhone no longer cool to teens?” Let’s ignore Betteridge’s law for now and explore where Forbes got its information. Was it a study of 10,000 teenagers, appropriately sampled across variables like economic standing, race, geographic location and so on?

No. BGR’s declarative headline “Apple is done, Surface tablets are cool, according to teens” is based on three sentences from Tina Wells of the youth marketing agency Buzz Marketing Group:

“Teens are telling us Apple is done. Apple has done a great job of embracing Gen X and older [Millennials], but I don’t think they are connecting with Millennial kids. [They’re] all about Surface tablets/laptops and Galaxy.”

That’s it. How many teens are telling you that? Twelve thousand? Nine? How are you asking? A statistically valid survey? Casual conversation over dinner? Also, you don’t think Apple is connecting with kids? Do you just think, or do you have data to demonstrate that? Did you take a representative sample of American teens or talk with six kids at The Gap? Do kids even shop at The Gap anymore? Their clothes are kind of boring now. I went in there last week and there weren’t many kids around.

The Gap is doomed.

Fisher-Price shits on your child’s imagination

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There’s a point at which you’ve gone too far with the damn iPad. Look at this abomination from Fisher-Price. God, maybe let three-year-olds think and imagine instead of zoning out and tapping buttons. Gizmodo writes:

“Tiny fields of imaginary wheat have been replaced with an iPad dock and the Little People Apptivity Barnyard companion app. Available sometime this fall the playset still includes a handful of Little People characters and animals, but they’ve been ‘enhanced’ with capacitive nubs on the bottom allowing them to interact with the iPad’s touchscreen display.”

Ridiculous and offensive.