Two fair attendees [1. Real people, not actors!] are offered a chance to compare a photo taken with their Samsung Galaxy S III to one shot with a Nokia Lumia 920. They prefer the image on the Lumia, so they decided to replace their Galaxy after looking at one photograph. Because that’s all that matters when choosing a smartphone.
I’m selling a bridge these people might be interested in.
Here’s when I knew there was going to be a problem. 93 seconds in:
Host: “Hey, everybody, welcome to Samsung UNPACKED 2013. You ready Jeremy?”
Jeremy: “I’m ready.”
Host: “Let me see inside the box.”
Host flashes exaggerated look of befuddlement to the audience
Host: “I’ll give you a candy bar.”
Jeremy: “You’ll see it in a few minutes. First, you have to welcome everyone. Didn’t you get a script?”
Oh God. They’re doing comedy. At 2:06, I was afraid. At 2:33:
Host: “I began my career twenty years ago on this stage as a Rockette.”
And that’s when I checked out.
The Verge has a great run-down of Samsung’s puzzling UNPACKED 2013 event. The show had lots of problems, like the aggressively un-funny jokes and “drunken” Dee Dee who ogled a groundskeeper, refused to put down her drink and asked if she could exercise while eating cheesecake. Not to mention the time-wasting dance numbers [1. Remember, this was an event for journalists, not theatre fans.] and the notion that the event should be a revue in the first place. I don’t know what Samsung was thinking, as Qualcomm’s over-produced 2013 CES keynote also went over like a lead balloon.
The biggest problem was that the production itself was the star, not the phone. We should be taking about the Galaxy S4 this week, not Dee Dee.
“Remember Qualcomm’s Big-Bird-infused freakfest at CES? Remember the four-hour Plato’s Cave at the PS4 launch?. It needs to stop. It shows these guys have more money than sense. Just because you can have an all-singing-all-dancing cast of thousands on stage doesn’t mean you have to. The phone/chip/laptop/fridge is the star here. Don’t make it about you.”
The spots feature “…an Android user [who had] just a few hours to play with the Samsung Galaxy Note,” a “smartphone user” playing the man-on-the-street role and a facilitator.
The facilitator asks the participants to perform three tasks with their phones. The Android user sails through each one easily while the hapless iPhone user stands gobsmacked and befuddled, which is exactly how I felt while watching this. I could’ve had a V8!
There are four huge lies in this bit, but that’s nothing compared the obvious contempt Samsung has for its potential customers. Let’s take this apart like a bullfrog in biology class.